Jiu Jitsu and the fragile dragon.

So yesterday was a real mixed bag.

I headed into work, deciding that because I’d been out late weds and done the extra workout I would skip the gym. Never the best move with me. Then Cardio Combat was cancelled so no punching class. John is being all mysterious so I am hoping all is well and the class will continue after this.

I had booked the afternoon off to deal with the Solicitor but after a short and friendly but slightly worrying exchange with my to be ex husband I went home at 11am.

I had an ok couple of hours at home, pootling about, getting the paperwork my solicitor needed together. I then headed out. This is where my day took a further dip.

In the UK you can’t just divorce on the grounds that you no longer live together, unless you can wait over two years one of you has to basically take out a case blaming the other for the collapse of the marriage. Writing the statement was upsetting. Once I got back to my car I cried, quite a lot. It’s a grim business divorce. I don’t know how anyone risks having to do it again.

The evening brought me two hours of Jiu Jitsu, it should be noted I am lying to my parents about this and telling them I have two Judo sessions a week because Jiu Jitsu might be a little too brutal for them to be ok with. I love it of course and for two blissful hours I was either inflicting or receiving pain and unable to think of anything else. Subsequently I slept quite well.

Today was back to routine, up, swim, work, except I found myself, sitting at my desk, feeling low, contemplating telling Mark about the statement tomorrow so he is pre warned, hating that this process is so cruel and wishing I didn’t have an evening home alone stretching out in front of me.Once again part of me wants to sell up, jack it all in, buy a round the world ticket and run away for a while. I know it won’t solve anything, but the urge is there.

On a happier, lighter note, I have now lost 6st since 1st July 2010, am nearly a size 14 and have not been close to this fit since I was 14 and still doing my share of the farming.

Also, if I may take a moment to enthuse (hey it’s my blog, I can do what I like right?). Jiu Jitsu is amazing. It’s brutal and definitely designed with ‘maim, kill, destroy’ in mind rather than sportsmanship, which may be why I love it! The guys at the class (by which I include the other girl) are really lovely and helpful and while some of them really don’t hold back, they all take time to help me improve and inflict more pain. It feels wrong to express satisfaction when someone you like perfectly well taps and confirms that yes that’s how you do it so it really hurts, but I guess I do my turns on the receiving end, so it’s ok. And it is kind of satisfying. Today it hurts to breathe deeply, everything cracks and grumbles when I stand up and my little finger feels as though it’s been pulled back repeatedly.. oh wait….

I am glad this is the last class I do in a week because it is the hardest on the body, but I love it, and it scares me a little!

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About Aunty Fox

'Fox Spirit is the crazy young aunt who dances in the rain and conjures fantastic worlds out of cardboard boxes, loo rolls and sellotape'
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8 Responses to Jiu Jitsu and the fragile dragon.

  1. SO proud of you for the weight loss, chief:) You’re doing incredible work and, crucially, you’re keeping doing it, which is the most important thing of all. Every week you’re building, every week you’re getting closer to your goal and it’s hugely inspiring to see you work.
    What’s really inspiring though is your honesty. The divorce hurts, badly and you’re not doing what lesser people would do; hiding it, suppressing it. You’re facing the hurt and the pain and looking it straight in the eye. It’ll fade, I promise and when it does? There’ll be nothing fragile about this dragon at all.

  2. Adele says:

    thanks hun. you know me though, no concept of my own privacy. 😉 And I do kind a kick ass.

  3. Marguerite Kenner says:

    Pardon my Colonial math, but 6st = 6 stone = 84 pounds, yes?

    *sound of my jaw hitting the floor*

    HOLY COW!! YOU ROCK!! TEACH ME!!!!!

    p.s. If you book that around the world ticket, you’ve got a place to crash in California, just say when. 🙂

    p.p.s. Pootling? *giggle*

  4. Adele says:

    lol, thanks am quite impressed with myself. ;p
    Cool, I would love to visit Cal. 🙂

  5. Marguerite Kenner says:

    No, seriously- TEACH ME. Send me an e-mail – that’s an amazing amount of weight loss and I’d love to know your method. 🙂

  6. kimber says:

    Hagel, you rock. I’m so impressed with all you’re accomplishing, and I just wanted to echo Marguerite’s statement: if you do buy that ticket around the world (and why not? What an adventure!) you’ve got a place to stay in BC. 🙂

  7. kimber says:

    I suppose I should say, “Adele”, not “Hagel”. Some habits don’t go away. 🙂

  8. Adele says:

    Well if either of you make it to the UK you must visit!! and Hagel is fine, or Toast if you want to go waaay back. And thank you!

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