And there it is…

My decree nisi will be declared on the 19th July. This week Mark should submit the paperwork to be removed from the mortgage. He looks well, less stressed, happier. There we are then. That whole chapter of my life nearly over.

I feel strangely sad about it all. Sad that we wanted to make each other happy and share a life, but it’s taken us divorcing and pursuing our own lives to find ways to be happy. I’m sad that someone I once loved in my own way and could have enjoyed a friendship with is, ostensibly, no longer going to be part of my life.

All in all it’s ok. We are both doing better, moving forward with our lives with a momentum we could never have achieved together. That’s good, and our future’s are bright and full of good things. Still. I’m taking a moment to be sorry for everything that wasn’t, and glad that we recognised it never would be sooner rather than later.

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About Aunty Fox

'Fox Spirit is the crazy young aunt who dances in the rain and conjures fantastic worlds out of cardboard boxes, loo rolls and sellotape'
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3 Responses to And there it is…

  1. Marguerite Kenner says:

    That is probably my favorite quote you’ve posted yet. Taking the time to deal with the emotion of What Could Have Been is an honest, difficult, and very wise idea. I hope goes well, and that afterwards it (and a batch of cookies) fuels an amazing kickboxing lesson! *hug*

  2. Adele says:

    lol, coffee cupcakes already consumed. ;p

  3. mrwriteon says:

    Having been there (twice) I empathize completely. And you will feel sad, and you must feel sad to go through your process, and you will (and must) go through thoughts of what might have been. But, it wasn’t to be and after you have given your emotions permission to intrude, then you can indeed move forward. What happens with divorce is that it first gets different — and then it gets better. Truly it does.

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