Falling feels like flying until you hit the ground.

I am now training 9-10 hours a week with my kickboxing club. That’s 9-10 hours of peace of mind, 9-10 hours of feeling happy and alive, 9-10 hours where even if I hurt all over and think i’m going to puke I feel fucking good. Some weeks it’s the only 9-10 hours. It may take some time for that to change. Everything is still hard.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. The last couple of weeks have been like that. You know, no matter how hard things got before I never struggled to get up and go into the office, that I could always handle. Now I just want to hide out at home then train.

I don’t want to talk to people really, I just want to fight until I feel ok. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to feel ok. I keep asking and I get the same answer, be patient with yourself, it takes time. I’m exhausted. All the time.


About Aunty Fox

'Fox Spirit is the crazy young aunt who dances in the rain and conjures fantastic worlds out of cardboard boxes, loo rolls and sellotape'
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2 Responses to Falling feels like flying until you hit the ground.

  1. V says:

    I read this post and saw myself two years ago. My heart goes out to you.

  2. Adele says:

    Thank you. x

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