…leaves the biggest hole in your heart.
If you come here for baking, martial arts or silliness please wait for the next post. This is one of those, processing stuff in my head ones.
As we get to into November we enter a time of mixed emotions in my family. We lost both our grandparents many years apart in the approach to Christmas, and with my birthday at the end of the month those things have become firmly linked in my mind and I believe in the minds of my siblings. All three of us mutter every year that we are not fans of Christmas. Maybe the entry of Freddy into the family will change that. November also sees the anniversary of my now defunct marriage, as well as the dates of the proposal and of my ex husband moving out after some time living apart in the same house. Today also marks the birthday of someone who was only a friend for too short a period, who many of us who knew and loved him never got to meet and who we lost nearly two years ago. Dana is right, it is just as raw now as it ever was.
November/December are always a mixed time for me, half celebration and half mourning the people I miss and the life I didn’t get to lead. I have things i’m looking forward to, but over all I struggle this time of year to stay upbeat and to stay well. Recent asshattery at work is not helping with that, but it is what it is.
Anyway, since this is when I get reflective rather than January, I wanted to say to all of you who have intersected my life, thank you for what you bring to it. When you leave it, however that is, you are and will be missed. And Happy Birthday Jack, I hope you knew how much you meant to us.