This is an odd time of year for me. The week between the anniversary of my wedding (now defunct) 22nd Nov 2008 and the anniversary of my birth 30th Nov 1977, has become like my new year. I assess in what ways I am better or worse off than I was in the last few years at this time.
2008, just married, still ignoring the problems in the relationship, fattest i’d ever been, work was fine.
2009, first anniversary, problems no longer ignorable, M was soon to go off work with stress, Still fat, not very happy.
2010, Ex had just moved out, had lost the first couple of stone, skint, numb, but dealing.
2011, lowest weight since 21, skint, happy, on altfiction, moving forward, work a bit crap.
2012, running fox spirit, put a little of the weight back on but feeling like I can get it back off again, it’s not the mammoth task it once was, work a headache, but kickboxing coming on well and I have a nephew, life generally good.
Overall the assessment this year, compared to any of the previous ones is a nice big tick. So why do I keep having huge emotional wobbles? Why am I finding it so hard to deal with people? Maybe it’s just that it’s still a tricky time of year to navigate, maybe i’m just really hacked off about those pounds back on, maybe it’s this time of year I want someone around to hang out and watch movies on cold dark nights. Answers on a postcard? Anyway, it’ll pass as December hits, i’ll get back into just dealing with what’s in front of me and by Jan i’ll be ready for another year of gritting my teeth and getting shit done.