There is a back story to this. You can read it as it happened; complete with baking, divorce and random thoughts over at Paws in the Porridge if you care to, but the condensed version is as follows:
In April 2010 I was almost 21 stone, had been married almost 18 months and attended the World Horror convention in Brighton. I finally met up with a lot of people I’d known online for a couple of years through my blogging and a whole load of new people too. I discovered a world where my mind and conversation were sufficient for people to welcome me and where I felt stimulated and at ease. I also realised just how much trouble my shiny new marriage was in.
The first thing I did was focus on being happier in myself, so I started losing weight, eating better, or less at least, working out, or to start with walking. I saw a hypno therapist so I could separate out the various strand of my anxiety and misery and deal with them one at a time. By the end of the year I had asked my husband to move out. In 2011 we started divorce proceedings and I returned to my maiden name.
I got down to just under 13 stone by January 2012. I did it through exercise and eating less. That’s the thing. I ate less, not better, not really. I went from a size 24 to a size 12 and then, due to financial circumstance (divorce) gave up my gym membership for a while, until things were more stable. Halfway through 2012 changes at work made me unhappy and I started comfort eating again. The problem was resolved by Christmas but the weight was already there. I was back up to around 16 stone and a solid size 16.
In June of this year (2013) I finally decided I had, had enough and was going to fix it. I started getting myself to the gym in the mornings again and started cleaning up my eating. It’s been by degrees over the last few months but that brings you pretty much up to date on a practical level.
There are some fundamental differences between now and 2010/11.
Then I was trying to make a huge decision about my life, and once made I was trying to keep going, day by day. Working out like it’s the only thing holding you together and not eating are very easy when you are going through a divorce. Then I was doing it to survive.
Now I am happier than I have ever been, in control of my life and moving forward. I am doing this because I have things I want to achieve for myself. I also have an appetite. It’s a much healthier mental state, but yes it makes getting up at 5:30am to fit the gym in before work a little harder, along with not stuffing my face with Pizza.
People asked me if it was hard to lose nearly 8 stone. No it wasn’t, not compared with just getting out of bed every morning. This time I expect it to be harder but this time it’s a labour of (self) love.
Who I am now? I’m just into the second half of my 30’s, I live with my two cats, I work a full time day job as well as running a side business and training as much as possible. Also, I am getting there.