These two feet?!

So Back in June 2010 before I knew most of you, when i’d just met some of you, I started seeing a hypnotherapist for stress. My husband was coming to the end of his six months sick leave after his anxiety problems and I had got to a point where I was not functioning at home or work. I was running away to stay at a friends as often as I could just to breathe. I’d already realised the relationship might not be salvageable, though I don’t think i’d given up on it yet

I was seeing the therapist every other week until January. Then I dropped to once a month. Pulling back from that part of the support network. I still regularly visit Leeds for a break. After my last weekend away I discovered something new. I didn’t need to be there anymore. I’ll still go, it’s nice to see friends, but for the first time coming home didn’t make me cry. I enjoyed leaving the day to day stresses behind but I didn’t feel the crushing weight of it all as I headed south on the M1, back home. I am content in my home at last. This house full of stress and anxiety and pain is finally restful and quiet and comfortable. 

The intense crying jags have stopped I think. I have melancholy moments, but it’s all still very new, it’s to be expected. I don’t have the huge crippling lows though. Oh I had a day when I had a vicious stress headache, but again, I think once in a while it all has to find an outlet. I have to rest sometimes. The point of this rambling discussion of my mental state is that i’m finding, finally, steadily, I can hold myself upright again, stand on my own two feet, emotionally.

I have amazing friends, they’ve propped me up and held my hand and passed me tissues and have never left me to deal with this alone. I’ve been given a safe haven to hide and rest and I could not have got this far without them, but now… I love you guys and I know I have a way to go yet, but I hope to be leaning on you less and enjoying you more from here on in.


About Aunty Fox

'Fox Spirit is the crazy young aunt who dances in the rain and conjures fantastic worlds out of cardboard boxes, loo rolls and sellotape'
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4 Responses to These two feet?!

  1. cmkempe says:

    I’ve been there too, and I know how it feels. So good to see you flying high again!

  2. Adele says:

    Thanks babe. It’s good to be back. And better than ever.

  3. You don’t lean, ever:) If you happen to be heading that way and my shoulder’s in the way, use it:) But you don’t lean, hon. *hugs*:)

  4. Adele says:

    Al, you are an angel and I will continue to use your shoulder from time to time, but I have done a fair bit of leaning. Getting there though babe. 🙂 *hugs back*

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